Love Songs In My Head
by Depresso Expresso Aesthetic
Summary: Honey left home at 18. She loved Jax Teller, but she knew he never loved her. And being stuck with the club and her parents in Charming was the one thing she never wanted. But now, 8 years later, she's back in town. She falls for a biker again, but it isn't Jax this time. It's someone much scarier. So here she is, the forgotten daughter of Elliott Oswald.
1. Cheyanne Honey Oswald

Name: Cheyanne Honey Oswald

Born: July 5, 1983 in Charming, California

Nickname: Honey

Description: hair: long, wavy, red/blonde (dyes it)

Eyes: blue

Skin: lightly tanned, lots of tattoos

Body: slightly chubby, hourglass shape, short (5'1")

Family:

Elliott Oswald (dad)

Aileen Oswald (mom)

Karen Oswald (step mom)

Tristan Oswald (little sister)


	2. 1

My name is Cheyanne Honey Oswald. But everybody calls me Honey. My mama wanted to name me Honey, but my dad insisted I needed a "normal" name. So they compromised and named me Cheyanne Honey, but everybody calls me Honey. I'm the forgotten daughter of Elliott Oswald. Well maybe not forgotten, but absent at the very least.

I grew up on my dad's ranch in Charming, California. My life was great... for the first 9 years. That was until my mom got sick, and then died when I was 10. Soon after my dad and I buried my mom... there was Karen. Then the year I turned 12, Tristan was born. Despite hating my step mother with a passion, I loved my baby sister.

When the morning of my 18th birthday rolled around, I woke up to the sunshine flooding in through my window, packed my clothes into a bag and left with my pitbull Creature, who was only a year old.

Hours of hitchhiking and sneaking onto buses without paying, I landed in Colorado. I got a job on a ranch, since ranching is the only skill I really have, and that's where I've been ever since.

That was until my dad called me about Tristan. It was the first time my dad had called me since I left, truthfully I didn't even know he knew how to contact me until then.

So now I'm driving back to Charming to try to see if I can get Tristan to talk. So here I am, the forgotten daughter of Elliott Oswald and the sister of the girl who was raped at Fun Town.


	3. 2

Remember how I said I was driving to Charming? Yeah... about that... Driving down the highway heading into town, there was a pop under the hood and then smoke. And now I'm stranded on the side of the highway in my old Chevy pick up truck. I grabbed my phone to call a tow truck and stopped. "Fuck," I whispered. Remembering the only tow truck I could get here would be the Sons. And I was not about to have any contact with them. I rolled down the window for Creature, who happily stuck her head out, andI leaned against the hood messing around with my phone trying to figure out what to do. When the sound of motorcycles filled my ears, "fuuuck," I groaned,"speak of the devil, I guess."

After the blinding headlights faced their furry in another direction, a man in a SAMCRO kutte pulled up next to me, and another followed. The first man stood up and took off his helmet, shaking out his long blonde hair. My breathe hitched, it'd been about 8 years since I saw him last, but that was definitely Jax Teller. No question about it. I quickly wondered if I could just keep my head down and he wouldn't notice me in the dark. 'I could just quickly tell him to go away and it'll be fine,'I thought. He looked me dead in the face. "Jesus, hey Honey,"he said. 'Great,' I thought, 'first time you see your ex in 8 years and you're in sweat pants and an old crop top with your hair in a bun.' "Oh my god, Jax hey," I said with fake enthusiasm. A smile spread across his face as he wrapped his arms around me. I patted his back awkwardly as the other guy got off his bike. He also wore a kutte, his skin was dark, his hair was dark and partially shaved, tribal tattoos graced his scalp as kind eyes and a kind smile graced his face. He was pretty young, maybe my age, and Hispanic. Jax released me, and the younger guy stepped forward to shake my hand. "Juice," he said, "that's my name," he quickly added. "Hey, I'm Honey."

"Hon, what the hell are ya doin' all alone at night like this?" Jax asked me. "I'm not alone, I got Creature," I motioned back to the happily panting dog. "Hon..." he said.

"I was heading to my dad's, and my truck decided to take a shit on me." "Why didn't you just call Teller-Morrow?" I just shrugged, not really knowing what to say. "Here, you can ride back with me and Juice. I'll call the prospect to come get your truck." "Nah I can wait, ride back with the tow truck. Besides, I can't just leave her, she'll panic and run off." "What's the matter, scared of the bikes now? Few years away and you turned pussy?" I laughed, "No, I just wanna stay with my dog and my truck."

That really was the truth, I had zero problem riding bitch. But I knew I go back to the clubhouse on the back of his bike, I'll run into Gemma, then I'll stay the night there, then I'm stuck in this town again with Prince Charming. That ain't happening. Jax is 5years older than me, so while he was dating Tara, I was only a freshman. Then after they graduated and she left, Jax and I got together my junior year. I was 16 and he was 20. Sure my dad hated it, but he never stopped us. When I left at 18, I left him a note and that was it. Although my step mom Karen was a big reason for me leaving, so was the club. My stupid 16,17 and 18 year old self loved Jax, but I knew loving him would tie me to the club and I had to get out. Besides, I may have loved him, but he never loved me.

Jax and Juice called a truck for me and rode off. A good 20 minutes later, a tow truck hooked my baby up, I got in and we were on our way. The kid barley said 2 words to me, I figured he was either shy or Jax said something to scare him. Either way I didn't mind. I wasn't much in the mood for talking.

Eventually we pulled up to Teller-Morriw and we got out. Immediately I saw Gemma step out of the shop and start walking towards me. It was dark but the headlights lit her up. "Cheyanne Oswald," she said with a smile. "In the flesh," I laughed. She wrapped her arms around me and I smiled. After losing my mama, Gemma became the mom Karen never tried to be, even before I started dating her son. "What'chu doin' back here, Honey?" "What's the matter, sad to see me Mama?" She smiled, "Definitely not sad, more like surprised...so why are you here?" "My truck broke down." She put her hand on

her hip and her eyes narrowed, "you know what I mean." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Dad called me, told me bout what happened to Tristan." "I see." "He said she'd need some emotional support, and that I had to come home." She scoffed, "More like the poor girl refuses to talk to anyone but Karen, andhe thinks she'll talk to you." "What do you mean she won't talk to anybody?" "She just won't talk to nobody, Karen says it's all because of the trauma." I crossed my arms and started chewing my lip. I guess it makes sense she doesn't want to talk about it, but it feels like there's more to it. Gemma grabbed my arm, "But hey, don't think too hard on it, baby."


	4. 3

I ended up spending the night in one of the clubhouse apartments. Jax said it was way too late last night for any of the guys to even look at my truck. So against my better judgement, Creature and I spent the night.

I woke up the next morning to Creature barking. "Shut up," I groaned, throwing a pillow at her. A knock sounded on the door and Creature jumped off the bed and took a defensive stance in front of it. "Shit." I quickly brushed through my hair and threw on my hoodie. 'Hopefully it's just Jax,' I thought. The knocking turned to annoyed banging and I flung the door open. Before me stood a man probably about 6'2", he had dark skin, and no hair which let me see the tattoos on his head, he wore a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt and a SAMCRO kutte. He had a gruff face, that kind of face a man would have only if he's seen some serious shit.

"Leave it," I told Creature to get her to stop growling at the man. The man before me looked me up and down, making me very concious of the fact that I was only dressed in my old marching band hoodie and my underwear. "I was told to tell you to head to the garage," the scary man said in a gruff voice. "O-okay, thank you," I said. He turned and left and I closed the door. 'I have no clue who that was,' I thought, 'but he was so hot.'

I quickly brushed my teeth and my hair, and got dressed in my ripped jeans, burnt orange t-shirt that said wild flower and my combat boots. When I got out of the room, the man from before was standing at the end of the hallway. I went to walk past him but he started walking next to me. The two of us walked out to the garage, where I at least knew everyone there. "Lookin' good old man," I told Clay. The older man smiled, "Ah thanks, Honey." To any outsider it'd seem like I was flirting with him, but I grew up with Clay. He was like my second father and best friend all in one. "So your engine took a shit, it's gonna need replacing,"the scary man said. God damn that voice... "Shit, how long is that gonna take?" "We're not sure," Jax cut in, "you got a pretty old Chevy here, it might not be easy to get the right engine." "Or cheap," the scary one muttered. "Alright, well can I maybe just sleep here while I'm here and when my dad needs me he can come get me?" "Honey, you know you're always welcome to stay here baby," Gemma said. "I already called your old man this mornin' tell him you were here. He said just to have you head over there when you could, but, ah..." said Clay. I nodded, understanding where he was going with that.

I grabbed some paper bowls from the kitchen and went back to my room. I made sure Creature had food and water, and locked the door on my way out.

She's a nice dog, when I'm around. But if I'm not there to call her off, she'll panic and attack.

I grabbed my hoodie and walked back out to the garage. "Hey baby," Gemma greeted me, kissing me on the cheek. "I just got off the phone with your daddy, he didn't know your truck wasn't runnin' so Clay's gonna have one of the guys drive you out." "Alright, thanks Mama."

Gemma walked back to her office and I headed over to Clay, who was talking to the scary man by the row of bikes. I wrapped one arm around him and kissed his cheek, "Hey Pop." "Hey Hon, listen. Happy here's gonna drive you up to your daddy's," he said, motioning to the scary guy who seemed to be glaring at my arm around Clay, "Gem said he wanted you there asap." "Ya, mama told me already. Thanks Pop." He started walking away but I stopped him. "Oh ya, I locked Creature in my room, if you wanna let her out make sure Jax does it, she's familiar with him so if calms her down she won't bite." "Alright, thanks Honey."

Clay walked away and the scary guy, who I guess is named Happy, handed me a helmet and motioned to his bike. 'Damn,' I thought, 'this baby looks so new' "Woah nice, is this the newest Harley?" A smirk snuck up on the corners of his lips and he gave a small laugh. "Nah, not the newest. It's a few years old, but I keep it as clean as I can." Man I'd have no problem seeing that smirk everyday. Wait did I really justthink that? I climbed onto the back of his Harley and pulled my hair into a bun before pulling on the helmet.

The ride up to my dad's just felt nice. The wind in my hair, the purr of the engine, Happy's smell of cigarettes and leather. I'm a sucker for the smell of a biker.

We pulled up into my dad's driveway and Happy flipped off the engine. "Thank you so much." "No problem, uh what's your name?" "Honey." "Oh that's your name? I just thought everyone called you that." I laughed, "Well my name is Cheyanne, but everyone's called me Honey since I was a baby." He nodded and started the engine. "Keep the helmet for later!" he yelled as he made his back down the driveway.

Then the front door of my childhood home swung open, and I saw my dad for the first time in 8 years. He walked out and after him followed Karen and Tristan, and I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the day ahead of me.


	5. 4

After tears from my dad and bitchy remarks from Karen, Tristan and I spent a few hours in her bedroom just talking. We talked about school, and her talent with painting. But whenever I tried to bring up Fun Town, she'd get quiet or change the subject.

"Come on Little Bear, let's go do something," I said. "Can you not call me Little Bear?," she said,"I'm not 5 anymore, Honey." I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, "I'm well aware you aren't 5 anymore, but you'll always be my Little Bear." She wiggled herself out of my arms, "How about just Bear?" I smiled and ruffled her hair, "Fine, just Bear."

We spent the rest of the day riding the 4-wheeler around the property. Even after 8 years away, I knew it all like the back of my hand. Finally it started growing darker, so I drove Bear back up to the front of the house. There was my dad talking to Happy. Although it looked more like a one sided conversation, as the scary man clearly didn't talk much. I pulled up next to them and cut the engine. Bear got off and ran to the door, "Love you, Bear!" I yelled after her. She didn't even answer, 'maybe she's scared of Happy,' I thought.

"Hey Cheyanne, Happy's here to take you back to Teller-Morrow," my dad said. Gotta love how his wife probably bitched him out for calling me the name my mama gave me. "Okay, love you dad." Just like Bear, he didn't answer me, instead he got on the 4-wheeler and drove off. And I Happy and I drove home in silence.

A week has passed since I arrived in town. Everyday was mostly the same, I'd wake up at the clubhouse andHappywould drive me to my dad's, I'd spend the day there and come back at night. My nights at the clubhouse were relatively peaceful. I'd have a drink with the guys, more specifically Piney and occasionally a few others, I'd help Gemma and the croweaters clean for the night and then I'd cuddle with Creature until I fell asleep. Last Friday though, when the club had their weekly party, I made sure to get far away. I locked a sleeping Creature in my room and climbed up to the roof. I was just sitting there in my old AC/DC t-shirt and leggings, when I noticed a bald and tattooed head pop up from the latter. "Hey there,"I said. He nodded sitting down next to me and cracked open a beer. "The angel from my nightmare," I muttered. He looked at me confused and I simply waved my hand with a smile. "What'chu doin' all alone up here, doll?" "I'm not really a party person," I paused and sighed, "besides, the stars are so pretty tonight." He gave a small smirk but not much else. I barley knew the man, but I knew he didn't talk much. "So what's your story, Happy?" He gave me a side glance mixed with confusion and bewilderment. "I don't remember you around here growing up, so where you from?" He was silent for a few, before sipping his beer, "Tacoma," he said gruffly. "That all I get?" He sipped it again, "yup." We sat there silently again, staring up at the stars. "So you grew up here?" Happy asked me. I swear that's the most I've ever hear him say. "Ya, I left when I was 18, though." "Why'd you leave?" I glanced at him, contemplating what to say next. "Well there's a few reasons, my step mom's a bitch, I didn't want to stay in a small town forever." I shrugged my shoulders, hoping I could leave it there. "There's more," he said bluntly. I sighed, "I was dating Jax at the time, we were together for like almost 2 years or something. Gemma was pushing for us to get married when I turned 18. She thought Jax needed to settle down since he was almost 22, and she liked me a hell of a lot more than Tara." I was hoping I could be done there. "But..." I looked at him and huffed. "But I didn't want to be stuck in this damn town. Stuck as some biker's old lady. I wanted out of here. And as much as I loved Jax, he sure as shit never loved me. Not like he loved Tara." "Tara?" he asked. "Jax is 5 years older than me. Jax and Tara were high school sweethearts, when they were together I was in middle school. When they graduated and she left, I wasonly 14, a freshman. When we got together my junior year, he was almost 20 and I was 16," Happy looked at me shocked and I laughed. "But since Gemma actually liked me, she didn't care how old I was. She would've had us married at 16 if my dad would sign the papers. But he wouldn't, so she had to wait till I was 18. But I left before she could." "Damn," was all he said. "That's probably why she's letting me stay here now. Jax's marriage is falling apart, she'll probably try to replace Wendy with me. Especially now that Jax has Abel." Happy said nothing but instead glared at the ground as if something I said had pissed him off. He silently handed me his over half full beer and left. I watched the stars for the rest of the night, finished Happy's beer and went to bed.


	6. 5

(NSFW warning~)

My Thursday started off normal as ever, I woke up to Creature barking at my alarm. I dressed into a white Thrasher t-shirt and capree leggings and I walked out and sat at the bar to have coffee with Gemma. She saw me and her eyes widened. "Oh hey baby, I need to talk to you. I looked at her confused. "Alright what's up mama." She sighed, obviously not knowing how to say what she wanted to. 'Strange,' I thought, 'Gemma is usually so collected. I've never known her to struggle with words.' "Do you that flame with Jax would ever spark back?" she asked. I laughed at her, "there was barely ever a flame to spark back." She sighed at took a long drag off her cigarette. "Well back in the day, you two were just so good for each other, and with that damn junkie out of the picure..." she trailed off. I took a cigarette from her pack and lit it, also taking a long drag from it. "I don't know, maybe," I half heartedly said. "He was just always so free and adventurous. When I was with him I felt like he gave me freedom I'd never had,"I paused, "but what we had wasn't love, it was too kids getting lost in each other with a lil bit of lust mixed in there." Gemma sighed, "I think there was more to it than just that, you loved him, I know you did." I gave her a look before puffing on my cancer stick again, "Yeah... but he never loved me. Not like he loved Tara. And with her back in town now, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to get rid of Wendy and come crawling back to Tara."

Gemma finished off her coffee and went to do some paper work for the shop. I walked out to the lot expecting to see Happy ready to drive me to my dad's, but instead it was Jax. Jax and his pretty boy smile. "Hey," I said. "Hey, Honey. Ready to go?" "Yeah, I guess. Where's Happy?" He shrugged, "Probably SAMTAZ or SAMREN, or driving to one of the two." I put on a helmet and climed on the back. "Why would he be there?" I asked. Jax laughed, "Well Hap's a nomad, meaning he isn't tied to just any one charter. He's still a Son but he just kinda goes where he's needed. Why, missing the Killer already?" I blushed, "N-no." He only smirked back at me before taking off.

I truly did love Jax once upon a time. But do I still? The handsome killer caught my attention, it was him I wanted. But he's gone now. Should I wait for him to come back, or should I just stick to Prince Charming? Or should I just leave again? So many questions.

Another week went by with no Happy. I felt like Repunzel waiting for her prince to come, and he never came. To try to take my mind off of everything, I decided to party with everyone else that friday. "Oh, don't tell me you're actually gonna wear that," Gemma said coming into my room. I looked down at my black AC/DC t-shirt and loose, red shorts. "What's wrong with it?" Gemma simply shook her head and left the room. She returned a moment later with a black, SAMCRO tank top and a tiny black skirt. "Oh uh uh, you want me to look like a whore?" I exclaimed. "No no no," Gemma insisted, "not a whore just... less... covered." "Mama, I am not wearing that." "Uh yeah Honey, you are," she said before throwing it at me and closing the door. I sighed knowing I wasn't going to win this fight. I changed into the sluty outfit, but added a red sweater so I'd feel slightly less cheap.

I walked out to see the crow eaters getting ready for later, and Gemma smoking at the bar. "That sweater wasn't part of it, Honey," she said. I simply scoffed at her, and started helping the croweaters set stuff up.

After a few drinks, I lost my sweater, and my mind, and I was dancing with Tig going crazy. I eventually turned my back to Tig, and from across the room Jax caught my eye. He was staring at me, looking me up and down. And in my drunken haze, he was all I wanted. I strutted towards him, or I at least I think I did though it was probably more of a stumble, and grabbed his arm. I dragged him back into the hallway.

~

He slammed me into the wall and pressed his lips to mine. We found our way to my room, and he tossed me onto the bed. "Jesus christ Hon, you look good tonight," he said, or rather slurred as we were both at least tipsy. He crawled over me like a predator finally catching its prey. He stared into my eyes, his clouded with lust, before attacking my neck with kisses and bites hungrily. He shed his kutte, as I fiddled with buttons on his flannel. Finally his upper half was unclothed. "8 years did you some good, Teller," I whispered, sliding my hands over his abs. He only laughed, "did you some good too, baby," he said cupping both ass cheeks in his hands under my skirt. He ripped off said skirt, and my panties with it. He slid his hands up my thighs, and cupped the heat between my legs in one hand. I gasped and he smirked at me. He then ripped off my SAMCRO tank top and my bra and cupped my DD breasts in his hands, "oh how I missed these," he groaned. He took one nipple in his mouth, while still massaging the other breast in his hand. I whimpered, and then moaned when he ground his still clothed hard on into my wet core. He stripped himself of the remainder of his clothing and flipped me over. He kissed my shoulders and neck and grabbed my hips in his hands. "You want me, Honey?" he whispered in my ear huskily. "Please, Jax," I whimpered. He chuckled, and thrust into me from behind. I cried out, it'd been awhile for me, my last relationship after Jax having been with a girl. He thrusted in and out at a normal pace, "harder," I begged. But he was never as rough with me as I wanted. The room was full of the sounds of slapping skin and my moans, "Jax please!" I cried, "Cum for me, Honey," he urged. Finally, we reached a finish together, my walls clasping around him causing us both to moan. He thrusted just a few more times before we collapsed in each other's arms. "I love you," was all I heard as exhaustion finally took over.


	7. 6

The next morning I woke up in Jax's arms. He was already awake and looking at me. "Good morning beautiful," he whispered with a classic Jackson Teller smirk. "Mornin'," I sighed. We stared into each other's eyes for what felt like forever. My feelings for this man seemed to have disappeared forever ago, but somehow, in this moment, it was like they never left. I thought about Happy, I barely knew him, but everything in me wanted to. And I thought about Tara, I knew she was back in town, and I knew Jax still loved her. But somehow, it all slipped my mind. Or maybe I was so desperate to be happy and loved, I forced myself to forget. "I've missed you so much Honey, and I didn't even realize just how much until you came home," he whispered, tucking my hair behind my ear and caressing my cheek. I smiled, "I missed you too."

I sat up and began getting dressed. "Stay with me, Honey," Jax said. I turned around to him, "what?" He sat up and lit a cigarette. Funny, it seemed like he always needed a cigarette after we had sex. I guess some things don't change. "Ya know technically, we never broke up," he said with a smirk, "8 years ago when you hightailed it outta here. You left a letter explaining why you were leaving. But you and I never broke up." I laughed before crawling to him and kissing him. "Is that so?" "Yeah, it is. So whaddya say, darlin'? Stay with me?" A huge part of me screamed to just say no. To not let him back into my heart or my life. To reach out to Happy and give him my heart instead. But no wasn't what I said, not even close. "I'd absolutely love to stay with you Jax. I love you so much," was what I said. He smiled, tangled his fingers in my hair and pressed his lips to mine. "I love you too, baby," he whispered.

Hours later, Jax and I finally got out of bed and got dressed. We walked out of my dorm hand in hand. When we got to the bar, he greeted his mother and kissed me on the lips before heading out to the garage. Gemma smirked at me, "no flame, huh?" "Oh hush, mama," I said with a smile. "I always knew you two would end up back together. You two are made for each other," she said. "Even after all these years, and all the shit you've been through, it's still you two." I knew what she was saying wasn't true. And I'm sure she did too. But I just agreed with her, and maybe even believed her. Maybe I thought I could make it true if I just smiled and nodded.

(A/N:Short chapter, I'm sorry)


	8. AN

A/N:I'm not sure how much time passed between the Fun Town episode and Patch-over, but for the sake of my story and my plot it'll be a little over a month. And please keep in mind this is a fanfic, so everything isn't going to be written exactly how it happened. Like say in the show Gemma drives up during an important scene. But in my version she's standing in the garage watching it unfold then walks over. The important scene will still happen but the way Gemma enters it will be different.


	9. 7

I sat a the bar drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette with Gemma while Jax was in church. "Anything I should be worried about, Mama?" I asked the older woman. She sat down her mug and cleared her throat. "Nah, don't you worry your pretty little head about them, baby." I knew Old Lady's, or whatever I was supposed to be, weren't really supposed to ask questions. But I could help but always get worried for the guys' safety. I grew up with almost everyman in the that room, and Clay and Bobby were like fathers me. I loved each and every one of them like family, even Tig who's been trying to get in my pants since I turned 15 and grew tits. "I just don't want anything happenin' to em." "I know Honey, but good Old Lady's don't ask questions." I nodded and took a long drag off my cigarette.

The black doors finally opened and Jax walked out. "Hey Ma," he kissed Gemma's cheek, "Hey beautiful," he said more tenderly, kissing me on the mouth. "Hey handsome, how was church." He sucked a breath in through his teeth, "don't hate me baby, but Bobby and I gotta head to Nevada. Talk to uncle Jury." Every part of me wanted to freak out and ask questions, but I knew I couldn't. 'Remember your place,' I reminded myself. "Okayyy," I pouted, "just come back to me in one piece." He pressed his lips to mine, "I'll try, Hon." He kissed me again before walking away.

Gemma and I finished our coffees and pit our cigarettes out before walking out to the garage. We watched as Jax and Bobby got ready to leave, but suddenly a black Cutlass drove up into the lot and a hand waved out of it. I watched Jax say something to Bobby, and Bobby rode off without him. Jax stepped up to the Cutlass as a figure got out. It was none other than Ms. Tara Knowles herself. Gemma and I shared a look before continuing to watch the scene before us. I watched Jax walk around her dad's old car, I relaxed slightly figuring she just needed the Oldsmobile looked at. That was until he went to walk away and she stopped in front of him. My eyes narrowed. I had no hate for Tara at all. She was a lovely person, talented, smart, beautiful. But I knew Jax still loved her. I know I can't stop his feelings, but while he's mine I'd rather not have her trying to steal him from under my nose. I know Jax, just because he's mine doesn't mean he won't go back to her. 'Hell he might not even end it with me first,' I thought. But I wave those thoughts away, and hope that I can just trust my man. Gemma puts on a smile and walks over there. And I walk into the office, just wanting to get out of there. About 15 minutes later Gemma was giving the doctor a ride home. I took a deep breath, 'If they're meant to be together, then they'll be together. There's nothing I'll be able to do about it,' I thought. 'I just hope if he's with her I can still be happy, maybe even with a man with just that name... no no no don't think like that.'

3rd person POV

Clay was planning a patch-over, he wanted the tribe to wear reapers. They were short some guys and needed numbers, so he called Happy and some SAMTAZ guys to drive out. Patch-over party? Happy Lowman loved the sound of that. Happy knew that Honey and Jax got back together, word of Prince Charming's new girl rippled through all the charters fast, he was hearing about it from sweetbutt's in Washington the second he got there. It bothered him so much more than it should but he did his best to keep his mind off of it. Until he saw Jax all over that little blonde thing that didn't even belong there. It pissed him off that Jax could do that to such a good girl like Honey. But he had to remind himself that Honey would be better off with Jax than she ever would with him. So he held back the urge to deck Jax in the face, and grabbed the closest sweetbutt to fuck the pain away.

Happy Lowman loved one person on this entire planet, and that was his mother. So when he suddenly started to get these stupid chick flick feelings for none other than Cheyanne Oswald, he knew he had to get away. The Tacoma Killer did not fall in love. But he wanted her, he didn't just want to love her but he lusted after her too. He long wavy hair, her curvaceous figure. She was definitely a blessed girl in the looks department. Happy made up his mind that night, Honey was going to be his one day, even if only for a night, he'd have her. Regardless of what Jax Teller had to say.


	10. 8

"Hey baby," Jax said, he was already up and getting dressed when I woke up. Even though Jax still had a house in Charming, not even he stayed there. Instead we both had a dorm at the clubhouse, sometimes we'd sleep in mine, sometimes in his. Sometimes he'd come back late and not want to wake me, so we'd sleep in out respective dorms. "Mornin'," I said, stretching. He quickly kissed me on the lips, "I gotta head over to Ope's, I'm buyin' an old portable crib offa' Donna," he said before heading out.

I got dressed in my loose red shorts, a gray Falling In Reverse t-shirt and my checkered Vans. I layered some chains over-top and a red, faux-leather collar with a hear shaped ring. 'Why not?' I thought, 'I got all this jewelry and these collars I never wear.'

"Hey mama," I greeted Gemma, when I walked out for my morning coffee. "Oh hey baby, listen so my fundraiser tomorrow? The money this year is going for the music department in the middle school," Gemma said. "Oh really? Man that's great, Kathy is probably so excited, she's been wanting to get the middle schoolers new uniforms for years now." My entire life, I was in Charming's music department. In 2nd grade I joined the Charming academy youth choir under the direction of Kathy Kane, then in middle school I moved up into the middle school chorus, also under Mrs. Kane. And I also played baritone saxophone in the middle school band. Then in high school, I was in Mrs. Kane's accapella choir and her Chavasi Chorale, which stood for Charming variety singers. I was also in Charming's high school marching band, although I no longer played bari sax, instead spinning in the band's color guard, and also in winter guard.

Gemma only nodded, "And I was wondering if maybe as a former choir member and band member yourself you could put on a little show," she said with a smile. I sighed, 'of course,' I thought. "I'll dig my old guard equipment out of storage," I said. "Good girl," she replied, patting my head and walking away.

The next day at the fundraiser, I was getting music ready for a small guard routine next to the SAMCRO booth. I put out a bucket for money and pressed play. I chose to only do a routine with rifle and sabre, since my flag is 6ft tall and could hit someone if I'm not careful. I changed up the routine here and there, it's not like it mattered anyway. Most people just oohed and awed at high tosses then gave me money. It didn't need to be elaborate to catch people's attention.

From across the fundraiser I see Jax pushing Kyle Hobart against a wall, a hand fisted into his shirt. I know Gemma sees it too, because Jax and his mom catch eyes and lets Kyle go. The rest of the day goes pretty much fine. I catch all my tosses and Jax doesn't punch anyone.

Gemma and I see Tara casually walking through only for her to stop in her tracks and back away staring specifically at Charming PD's food tent. I see Jax, Tig, and Bobby walking up moments later and Gemma and I shared a look walking over, Gemma gets to him first, "You tell Clay I'm pissed off. Bad enough his sorry ass isn't here now he's taking all my man power." But Jax isn't paying attention to his Mom. He's staring at the same man Tara was staring at. "Who is that guy?" I ask. Gemma looks back at me then to Jax, "That's your ATF guy,"Gemma answers. "That guy was at the hospital last night watching me with Abel," Jax says. "That's dangerous brother." " Well you keep an eye on him," Jax says to me and Gemma, "If he follows us out of here or leaves at any point, you give me a call." He presses a kiss to my lips before leaving. Gemma and I stare at the ATF guy who looked oh so smug just a moment ago, but now looks shocked as ever.

The rest of the fundraiser goes beautiful, the band plays after the raffle and there's fireworks. And I head back to the clubhouse after and Creature and I watch a movie and go to bed.

(A/N: filler chapter, sorry guys.)


	11. 9

After all the shit that went down with ATF, I decided I had to get out of the clubhouse. Partially because it was trashed, of course. I started staying with my dad, even though all of kept screaming just to get out of Charming. But I just couldn't. Couldn't leave my little sister. Couldn't leave what I had with Jax. And I just couldn't abandon the hope that Happy would be back for me someday.

There were just so many things I wanted, or thought I wanted, my head was in shambles. I could stay with Jax, adopt Abel and be the mother the boy needed. I could wait for Happy. Or I could completely back away from the club, stay as long as Little Bear needs, and get back to Colorado.

Colorado... I had a pretty good job, ranching for a rich family that even paid me to live on the property. I had a girlfriend too, nothing too serious but it was going good. When my dad called I quit, no 2 week notice just packed my shit and left. I'm pretty good at that, if you haven't noticed. My only talents I guess are leaving, ranching, and tossing weapon shaped objects. And of course loving men that don't love me.

"Hey Cheyanne," my dad greeted me walking into the living room. 'What the hell happened to Honey?' I thought. "You back datin' that Teller boy again aren't ya?" He asked, sitting down next to me. "Yes, yes I am. Problem?" "No, no problem at all. I should've known, me asking you to come home. You were bound to end up with him again. I know you too love each other, always have, and I can't stop you, Honey." It was a great sentiment, the only problem was: Jax and I don't love each other. "But," he said, drawing me from my thoughts. "But?" I asked rather harshly. My dad sat there for a minute contemplating what to say next. Or how to say it. "Chey..." he started, "Honey, he put a fed through a window this morning at Floyd's." "Wha-," I started but he cut me off. "Not just for any reason either, he did it for that doctor. Word travels fast around here. The agent was stalking her, and Jax was willing to do that to help her. Look I know you love him but you need to keep an eye out, because she seems to have more of his attention than you do."

3rd person POV

Jax walks into his son's nursery to find his mom sitting in the rocking chair, smoking a cigarette. The room is all back in order, as if the ATF agent had never vandalised it. "Why aren't you at the fight?" Gemma asked her son. Jax scoffed, "Had my share for today." He takes her cigarette, and takes a drag off it. "Yeah, your leg okay?" Jax limps away, smoking the cigarette. "Yeah." "Where's the doctor?" "I don't know." Finally Gemma decides she need to investigate. "Where you goin' with that, Jax?" She asks her son with her arms crossed. "Nowhere," he says. "I don't believe that. I've seen the two of you together, seen how you act around her. She's still got ties in you." "You know what, I don't give a shit what you think. What I do, what Tara does- it's not your business." "No, cleaning up piss and broken cribs- that's my business?" she accused. "No one asked you to take this on. This house, this kid... it's not your burden, it's mine." Gemma doesn't say anything, and Jax begins to limp away. "What about Honey?" she asks, stopping him in his tracks. "You think you can just do whatever you want with the good doctor, and that poor girl can just be strung along like this? Pick one Jackson. If you don't love Cheyanne then let her go." Jax turns around looking defeated. "Honey is probably just gonna hightail it out of here once her sister is better. It's what she's good at, running." "Do you love her?" Jax sighed, and leaned against the wall. "She'd make a great Old Lady, she grew up around here. Knows this life. Hell she knows more about it than Tara and Wendy combined." "But do you love her?" Gemma pressed again. "I do but not like I love Tara. They're both great girls, smart and kind. And everybody loves Honey, you and Clay might as well be her parents. And I really do love her, but I think her and I would be better as friends. Less romance love... more sibling love. And it isn't like that at all with Tara." Gemma sighed, "then you need to be honest with Honey. I really don't think she'll be mad. Besides, I'm sure one of the other guys would love to make her an Old Lady." Jax laughed, "Yeah. Jesus, Tig's been tryna get a piece of that since she was what? 15? Maybe 16?" "I think younger," Gemma joked. "Yeah, maybe she can get Tiggy to settle down with her." "Maybe," Gemma said, but she knew damn well Tig Tradger was not the one little Honey was after. She may have never said anything, but nothing made it past her. 'Honey and Happy doesn't sound that bad,' she thought, 'has a pretty nice ring to it.'


	12. 10

Staying at my dad's house was truthfully nice but stressful. I'd wake up in my old bedroom. Which wasn't really my bedroom anymore seeing as all my Nirvana and Marilyn Manson posters were gone, the clothes I left behind were gone, my snow globes and ashtrays no longer decorated the dresser, and my longboard and guitar no longer sat in the corner. They even changed my red bed set out for brown, threw away the stuffed animals that once covered it, and painted my yellow walls beige. The only evidence that it was my room were the 2 beat up DSI rifles, the utaped sabre, the bari sax and the box of electrical tape, wood reeds and valve oil sitting in the closet.

I'd wake up in the skeleton of my old room, and walk out to the kitchen to have breakfast with my family. I'd have to survive Karen's with no coffee and no smokes, because apparently they were a bad influence for Bear. Then I'd go outside and ride around the 4-wheeler with Creature in the back wood cart. She wasn't allowed in the house because, according to Karen, she'd eat the cats. I'd stay outside with my dog most of the day, sometimes Bear would join us other times I'd go inside to spend time with her. It seemed though, that whenever I'd go inside the house Karen and I would argue over every little thing. In my teenage years, Karen would bitch me out over the smallest things like wearing shoes in the house or putting dishes in the wrong cupboards. Back then I'd have to stay silent and just take the verbal abuse, because even the smallest change in my facial expression was considered attitude and she'd inform my dad and I'd be grounded. She'd burst into my room with the bitchiest attitude, but me defending myself would be talking back and there'd be consequences. Now I could fight back. 'I'm a 25 year old woman,' I thought, 'there's no way in hell she's gonna talk to me like that then tell me to drop my attitude.'

It was honestly nice getting away from the club. The only thing that really concerned me was that Jax hadn't called me at all. I figured he was just busy with club shit, but too busy to give his kinda old lady a call? I brushed off the thought and carried on with the usual.

Then I decided that, instead of sitting here for a third day, I was going to drive to the clubhouse. I dressed in a gray and red Falling in Reverse t-shirt, a pair of ripped capree jeans, with red converse and a black leather collar. I walked out to my 67 Chevy pickup, which now runs great thanks to Tig and Chibs, with Creature and left. Of course taking my bags with me because I have no clue if I wanted to come back to the ranch.

When I got to the Clubhouse the only person I saw was Opie. "Hey Ope," I greeted, "anybody else here?" "Well Chibs and Juice are in the other room," he said with a laugh, "but I warn ya, Juice's got his finger up and Irish man's ass." I gave him a confused look but didn't bother asking.

I walked into the other room to find Juice and Chibs standing over another man who clearly wasn't having a good day. "Oh my God, what happened?" I asked. "Someone tried to shoot Clay, got 'im in the arse instead," said Chibs. "Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked. "Yeh' can go get 'im another bottle." I walked out to the bar to grab a bottle of something strong, and that's when Jax walked in. Since I was behind the bar, he hadn't seen me yet. "Jackie boy, where 'ave yeh been?" Chibs asked him. "I'm here now," said Jax. 'Wait, he didn't sleep here last night?' I wondered. "The bullet in this guy's arse hit a major femoral artery. He needs a doctor, and he needs it now," Chibs says to him while taking a first aid bag from him. 'Tara,' I realize. Then I slip back into the kitchen, just not wanting to be seen yet.

Opie and Jax left and I stepped out of my hiding stop. "Oh hey baby, I didn't know you were here," Gemma said, seeing me. "Yeah, I just got here," I said biting back tears, hoping she didn't notice. 'I have no proof he stayed with Tara last night,' I thought, 'and even if he did I'm stronger than crying over this bullshit.'

About a half hour later, Jax returned with Tara. They walked into the room with the bleeding Irishman, and I followed. "Oh my god," said the doctor. "Took two slugs, got one. Little Dutch boy's keeping the blood dike from bursting," Gemma told her. I just sat back silently, knowing I would be of no help and also knowing now was not the time to confront the doctor. Tara took a pill bottle from her bag and handed it to me, "Here's some vancomycin, this'll kill anything. Give him 2 now and then one ever four hours." I hurriedly shook 2 out of the bottle and gave them to the irishman.

She handed me gloves and gauze. "Me?" I asked, "what am I doin'." "I'm gonna have... Juice pull his finger out. I want you to stuff that gauze into the wound, and then I'm gonna close it off with this clamp, okay?" "You sure you know what you're doin'?" Gemma asked from behind her. "Guess we'll find out."


	13. 11

(NSFW warning~ kind of a kinky one, so I'm sorry if that isn't your thing)

After Tara and I, but mostly Tara, saved the Irish man's life, we all walked out into the clubhouse. First Jax and I caught eyes, he gave me a sad look. Which, in my mind, confirmed my suspicions. Then I caught eyes with Happy. I couldn't exactly tell what the emotion behind them was, but they still spoke 1,000 words. I just wasn't exactly sure what words.

While the guys went to church, I headed to my old dorm. I knew there was going to be a part tonight, of course the last Friday party I went to was over a month ago. And the morning after I was suddenly Jax Teller's girlfriend. I knew one way or another Jax and I were going to be over tonight, so I decided to dress for this party. Since Gemma wasn't there to dress me like a whore, I chose a burgundy form-fitting dress, a black and white striped sweater over top, I put on my black combat boots, and layers some chain necklaces over the dress and a black leather collar.

I walked outside when the party was starting and saw the SAMCRO guys all sitting around a table. I caught Tara's eyes from across the lot, she looked at Jax then at me looking guilty as ever. Jax turned around, saw me and stood up. He walked over to me fidgety. "Hey can I talk to you... in private," he asked. "Sure." We walked over to the side of the garage where it was easier to hear each other. "I need to tell you something," he started but I stopped him. "I know you spent the night at Tara's last night, Jax." He looked so sad and guilty, but I put my hands on his shoulders. "Hey, look at me," I said softly. He slowly met my eyes. "I'm not mad, Jax. You've loved her since you were 16. I can't be mad at you for just wanting to be with the woman you love." "I'm so sorry, Cheyanne," he said. "You don't have to be sorry, I don't want you to be sorry. I'm not stupid, I knew this wasn't going to last. You don't love me like you love her... and that's okay." "Are you sure you're okay, Honey?" "I'll be fine. Now go, be with her." He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. "Thank you," he said before walking off to Tara. I was pretty hurt, not gonna lie. But I wasn't lying when I said I wasn't mad.

I walked back out to the party, and found Happy. "Hey there doll," he said with a smirk. God how I loved that smirk. I sat down next to him, "Hey Hap," I said, "gonna let me finish your beer again?" He laughed, "Nah, how bout you get your own." So I did, after about three beers and few tequila shots I was in Happy's lap on the couch. "So you ever gonna tell me your story, Hap?" I asked him. "What about you? I hear your Jax Teller's old lady now," he said. Even thinking I was the VP's old lady, he certainly wasn't pushing me off his lap. I laughed, "Nah, not anymore, he's back with Tara." Happy looked at me surprised, "Well then," he brought his face closer to mine, "what do you say we take this somewhere else?" "I don't know Ha-" I started but he pressed his lips to min cutting me off. He stood up with me in his arms, holding me bridal style. He started walking down the hallway with the dorms but stopped in front of the ladder that led to the roof. He set me down and motioned for me to head up. I started up the ladder before him and he smacked my ass when it got to eye level, then started climbing behind me.

When we got to the top we sat down together. He was silent at first but, "I'm from Bakersfield, grew up there. But when I joined the Sons, I patched in in Tacoma. Now I'm a nomad though. But that's why they call me the Tacoma Killer." "I'm assuming the nickname has something to do with your Unholy Ones patch?" I asked. Knowing that patch is only earned by killing another member in service of the club. He glanced at me and nodded. "You already told me you're from Tacoma," I groaned, " tell me about... I don't know. Your childhood, your parents. Ooh, what's your mom's name?" He chuckled at me, "man, who the hell gave you sugar?" I only laughed at him. "My mom's name is Letizia Lowman, yours?" "Aileen Oswald, her maiden name was Kelly though." "Medina." "What's your favorite color?" He scoffed, but answered, "Red... yours?" "Hm... pale yellow, neon green, bright red."

We sat in silence once again, until Happy roughly pushed a kiss to my lips. I was surprised, but definitely not upset. He pulled me into my lap so I straddling him, and cupped my ass in his hands. But then he broke the kiss, pushed me off and stood. I then began honestly wondering if he was bipolar. He grabbed my hand and we walked over to the ladder, "Go on," he said. I began down the ladder and he followed quickly behind.

When we reached the bottom, Happy wasted no time dragging me to his dorm and getting us in.

~

After closing the door behind us, Happy slammed me against it. He kissed me with a bruising fervor and pulled me up, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist. He ripped off my dress, my sweater having been forgotten hours ago, and bit down into my shoulder. I cried out in a mix of pleasure and pain, Happy was rougher than anyone I'd ever been with, but I loved it. "Mine," he whispered. He set me down and stepped back, quickly removing his own clothes, as he did I removed my chains but left the leather collar. He seemed to notice this, as when he was done he grabbed the collar and used it to drag me to his bed. He pushed me down face first onto the bed and grabbed 2 pairs of handcuffs from the top drawer of his night stand. 'Maybe that's why I was so drawn to him,' I thought.

He cuffed each hand to a bed post, and straddled my back. He tangled his hand in my hair and yanked my head back. "I hope you're prepared for this princess," he growled. 'Why not,' I thought, 'I've always wanted to say it so just say it.' "Oh I am, Daddy." He was probably shocked but he just chuckled. "Man I knew there was a kinky side to you, little girl," he said. "What gave it away?" I asked. "The collar," he said.

Then, without warning, he thrust into me. I cried out, he was so much bigger than I've ever been used to. He continued at a brutal pace, I was louder than ever. He wrapped his fingers around my throat, and started smacking my ass with the other hand. "Daddyy," I moaned.

He continued for what felt like hours. I was so over stimulated the only word I could form was "daddy". Then he uncuffed me and flipped me over. It was then I stared at the god-like man in front of me. His tattoos, his muscles. I was in complete awe of it all. "Like what you see, princess," he smirked. I simply nodded and he pressed his lips to mine. He trailed down my neck leaving hickey after hicky. He then took one nipple in this mouth, biting down hard causing me to cry out once more. He abused the other with his hand, leaving it just as purple as it's twin.

"I ain't done with you yet," his gruff voice said. He layed down onto the bed and pulled me over top of him. He entered me again and used his hands to guide my hips down to his. He, of course, set another bruising tempo and we continued like that for another forever. Then he met his release, which was my like 30th, and pulled me to his chest. We layed there, in his bed, oh so satisfied. And I knew I was going to have so many bruises in the morning.

The next morning I woke up cuddling into Happy's chest. Funny, I didn't take the man for much of a cuddler. I stared at his sleeping face for a minute, studying every feature. I knew he was like 23 years older than me, almost twice my age, but I couldn't bring myself to care. From everything I'd heard this man did not at all treat women the way he's been treating me. Maybe it's all in my head somehow, but I can't help but think maybe he wants me like I want him. Regardless of our age and all our other differences, I just know this man is meant to be with me. I wonder if he knows it too.

Finally, his eyes fluttered open, "You know it's not really normal to stare at people while they sleep," he said. I laughed and pressed my lips to his. "Just admiring the man in front of me," I said. He squeezed my ass in his hands, "I figured you did enough of that last night, princess," he laughed and I squeeled. 'Oh yeah,' I thought, 'I ain't letting this one go.'

(A/N: so these last two chapters cover the episode "Hell Followed". Because Clay calls in the Washington charter, Happy is in this episode but only for tonight. So yes, they spent the night together but they are not together yet. This is only their initial spark. And this spark is going to trigger the other things on my little checklist that need to happen before Happy patches over and they become official. I hope you enjoy this so far, please make sure to comment anything you're feeling about my work, good or bad it's all helpful.)


	14. 12

Happy left sometime that afternoon when the rest of the guests from Washington woke up and got themselves sober enough to hit the road. I'm well aware that what happened between Happy and I was technically a one night stand, but I felt so much more there.

The way he held me, the way he smiled, I knew there was more. I wanted him to come back the moment he left, I felt so much more than just lust for that man. But at the same time, because of gross insecurities, I couldn't help but feel I was basically nothing more than a sweetbutt and maybe even trying to see things with Happy that weren't there. Bedding two members was almost croweater territory, and that's what I was afraid Happy might start to think I was. I didn't have much time to think about that though, because everything went down hill right about there.

My day was supposed to be normal, I dressed in a mickey mouse hoodie and baggy ripped jeans, and of course my chains and checkered vans. I had coffee and a smoke with Gemma that morning, she made fun of my outfit and everything was good. I planned on helping Gemma with some paperwork in the shop's office as I had begun working there part time, but that wasn't what happened.

3rd person POV- Charming PD

After kicking Wayne Unser out of his own office, the uptight scrawny bitch that is agent June Stahl sat talking with David Hale. They discussed her knowledge of the Son's connection to the Irish and she told the boy scout of a man her plan of using Rico against the Sons. And he was more than eager to listen. "We need to prove that the Sons of Anarchy is an ongoing criminal enterprise," she said. "And how does Luanne Delaney play into this?" the boy scout curiously asked. "We have to show that there's been illegal activity over the past 10 years, so we use Luanne's incarceration as a bargaining chip with her husband, Otto Delaney. We dig up dirt in the past, and then we go after the present." A look of concern grew over the young man's face, greatly contrasting from the confident and cool look of the agent. "These guys will never rat," he spat. "You're really missing the theme here, honey," she sighed, "outlaw clubs do not keep their women in the dark." She began pulling papers out of a manila folder, "they're smart. They use them. We go after the ones that have the most to lose."

Hale gazed at the pictures before him, Donna Winston, a younger women he couldn't name, Tara Knowles and Cheyanne Oswald. She pointed to Tara, "Job," to Donna, "family," to Cherry, "freedom" then finally to Honey she smiled, "reputation and freedom." "Honey?" Hale asked confused. Stahl smiled, "Color guard senior captain, jazz prodigy...still a grungy little pothead but everyone looks at everything good she is, she's the princess of this town and doesn't even know it. She had a girlfriend in Colorado, Paige Montez," she pulled out a picture of a young woman, with black hair cut into a blunt bob with straight bangs, she had lightly tanned skin and brown eyes. In the first picture the girl wore colorful eye makeup and her tongue stuck out for her selfie, in the second she was laying sprawled out on a bathroom floor, foaming at the mouth, clearly dead. Hale picked up the pictures and glanced at Stahl confused. "Montez was found in the dorm the two shared about a month ago, dead. Drug overdose. It was unclear whether it was a suicide, accidental... or otherwise." "How could that ruin Honey Oswald?" Hale asked. "Well, aside from the dead body, police also found marijuanna, xanax, vicodin, fentanyl, and LSD. And when she was found by their employer, Cheyanne had already ran. Pretty shady huh?" "Honey came back here to help her sister, it's perfectly possible this girl died after she left." "Which is probably the case, but accusing her of murder puts her in my hands and might get her to give us some info on the Sons. And even if homicide falls through, she could definitely be charged for possession."

1st person POV Honey

Instead Gemma spent the morning up at the cabin with the Irishman Tara patched up. I also knew Gemma planned on going shopping later in the day. So I decided to head over to Donna's. Donna and I had been good friends once upon a time, she's four years older than me but somehow we still just clicked. I pulled up into her driveway and got out, when I got to the door she already opened it. "Hey, the doors on that thing are loud," she said with a laugh. "Yeah, I know," I laughed, "it's an old truck." She smiled and stepped aside to let me, after closing the door she wrapped me in a big hug. "I've missed you so much, Chey." Donna was the only one to ever not call me Honey. It started when I was about 8, Donna was 12 and for some reason she was stuck babysitting me even though she was a little young to be babysitting. She asked me my name but when I told her everyone called me Honey she told me she didn't want to be like everyone else so she called me Chey instead. A year later, when my mom died, she spent almost every day with me, and that was when we grew close. Like sisters but better.

We spent about an hour catching each other up on our lives, she told me about the ATF agent who paid her a visit that morning and I comforted. She explained the moving boxes to me and I even helped her pack a few. I love Donna and Ope, and I know they love each other but I knew I needed to support Donna's choices overall. Then I left and headed back to the clubhouse.

When I pulled into the lot there were feds waiting. I got out assuming they'd leave me be, but they didn't. A slender woman I knew to be Agent Stahl walked up to and showed me her badge. "Cheyanne Oswald?" she asked. "Yes?" She nodded to another agent who stood behind me, who then began cuffing my hand. I stared at her shocked and confused. 'What the hell did I do?' I thought. "Miss Oswald, you are under arrest for the possible murder Paige Montez. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you." In the process of my arrest, Gemma pulled into the lot. She yelled for me but I heard nothing through the shock. Gemma tried to run to me but she was held back. 'I can't believe she's gone,' I kept thinking.

3rd person POV

Luanne Delaney was freed after her husband made a deal with agent Stahl, but because he signed no papers the agent still had jack shit against the club. Cherry, or Rita rather, fled to Belfast with Cammy Hayes to escape her charges. As for Honey, cell phone records and eye witnesses proved she was already driving to Charming when Paige died. And when Stahl tried to go for the possession charge, no one even wanted to bother with it. Her higher ups in Stockton didn't understand why she was poking at an accidental overdose from Boulder, Colorado and Boulder PD was too busy with current cases to even care about what she was trying to do. So Honey was freed in a matter of days.

(A/N: I'm really sorry if this chapter sucks, I was trying to give you more of what happened while she was in Colorado and what happened to that girlfriend I only briefly mentioned before.

Thank you so much to

MademoiselleRiddle

crazypo

Cherokee Daniels

nictoria19 -sorry you didn't get a cute moment with Abel I just wasn't sure how to write it in. And as for the girlfriend, you actually gave me the idea for this chapter in some weird way.

UnderElectricCandlelight- your comment gave me some ideas I hope to incorporate into the story later, so thank you.

And KaylaLove143


	15. 13

(A/N: I've mostly been trying to write this by episode, unless there's no reason for me to weasel Honey into an episode or there's nothing significant to my story happening. The episodes that follow _Better Half_, _Capybara_ and _The Sleep of Babies_, she'll still be in a holding cell and won't be let out until the ATF are leaving charming.)

They let me go night Donna was killed. I got back to the clubhouse unaware of the tragedy that had only just struck, wrapped up in my head about the other I'd just learned of. One of the crow eaters I didn't know the name of walked up to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "Hey, you okay?" I was confused. Why would I not be? I initially thought the question was regarding my very uncomfortable stay in a holding cell, but her consoling tone told me otherwise. "Why wouldn't I be?" I asked her. Her look of pity deepend, "oh you don't know." "Know what?" I demanded. I was growing scared and annoyed. "Opie's wife was killed tonight," she said, "I'm sure you'd have rather heard this from someone else but I figured you deserved to know, I'm so sorry." I didn't bother answering her, or even really acknowledging her. I ran to my room and slammed the door, Creature jumped up defensive out of her slumber but relaxed when she saw it was only me.

I slowly removed the clothes I'd been in for almost 3 days, I threw on the t-shirt Happy had left and layed down in the bed with my dog. Then I broke. First Paige, now Donna. It felt like my world was falling apart around me. Worst of all I was finally feeling the guilt I should've felt long ago. Paige had been my girlfriend for nearly 5 years, and before that my best friend. Although, to be honest, when Paige and I got together it didn't really change much in our day to day, other than more intimate moments and having pushed our beds together in the dorm. A month before I left for Charming, Paige and I broke up. We decided we were better off as friends and, on a deeper level, her drug habits had grown too hardcore for me, although I never told her that. There was no bad blood between us, and she wasn't at all upset when I told her I was leaving for Charming.

My guilt doesn't lie in the fact that we broke up, or that I left, or that I got back when Jax soon after arriving home. My guilt is because I knew she was getting into hardcore drugs, yet I never stopped her. I left her alone at the height of her $200 a day heroin addiction when it was me that introduced her other things in the first place. Weed and acid was what bonded us in the first place, it's easier to like someone when you're both high, then she introduced me to xanax, then finally she ventured into fentanyl and vicodin which led her to heroin. I watched what all of it did to her, how could I have claimed to love someone and just leave them to die like that? Not only that but I came home to Charming and forgot all about her and fell back into bed with Jax Teller. Her death was ruled an accidental overdose on heroin and fentanyl, but I will always know the truth deep down inside. It was me that killed her, I'm the reason she's dead. And I can never let myself forget that.

At around 2am, I packed all my clothes into a bag. Some of my things were being washed but I really didn't give a shit. I just needed out of here. I threw on some leggings and ran out barefoot with my bags and my dog. No body was awake in the clubhouse so I didn't worry about anyone seeing me go. I wrote a quick letter to no one in particular.

**_Dear whoever sees this first,_****_I'm sorry to do this now, but I have to. Thank you all so much for the home you guys gave me and I'm sorry for leaving so soon. Thanks Clay and Gemma for being the parents I needed, thanks Tig for being like a brother to me even though you always wanted in my pants and sorry I'm taking my dog. Clay, Gemma, Tig, Chibs, Piney, Opie, Jax, Juice thank you so much for this family I love you all. Don't look for me, if or when I want to be found you'll find me._****_With love, Honey._**

Then I left with no set destination, but I just knew I had to go.

Kept awake by the adrenaline, I drove for 17 hours straight and landed in Las Cruces, New Mexico. My truck was definitely hating me and I'm shocked the engine didn't give. I quickly checked into a motel with Creature and passed the fuck out, dreaming of both Happy Lowman and Paige Montez.

(A/N: This chapter took place between _The Sleep of Babies_ and _The Revelator_. I don't think I'll be needing to write anything for The Revelator so we are on to season 2. Yay!!

MademoiselleRiddle- I believe the correct thing to say here would be "Yeet". I promise I didn't do this to spite you, I had this planned way before I read your comment. However I did actually read your comment and then reconsider my plan, but in the end I chose this path anyway. But I promise it'll get worse before it gets better, I hope I didn't upset you.

Also, please let me know if the mentions of drugs, drug habits and overdose bothers any of you I'll either find a way to change up the story to take it all out or I will start giving warnings.)


	16. 14

(A/N: jk, turns out we are going to see a little bit of the last episode of season one.)

3rd person POV- the clubhouse church

The guys all walked in solemnly, knowing there was so much to talk about and none of it good with Donna dead and now Honey gone. "How is he?" Clay asks nodding to Jax. To which he sighs, "I don't know." Only for Piney to butt in, "how do you think he is?" his tone seems angry but his face calm and collected. He even includes a slight sarcastic smile, which causes the others to shy away from meeting his gaze. "There's no viewing. The funeral's tomorrow," Jax says with sadness evident across his every feature. "Let's get people down for this. I want a good show of support,"says Clay. "Happy's already in town," Juice says, nodding and glancing to his brothers. As if hoping one of them read his mind. "Ah shit, Happy!" Tig exclaims. "How the fuck are we supposed to tell him about Honey without dieing!?"

Honey may not have been Happy's old lady, but everyone in that room knew that girl was his. And the Tacoma Killer was not going to be very happy, pun intended, when found out she slipped out right under their noses and they had yet to find her. There was more than just that going through Tig's head, though. He couldn't help but hurt for this girl he'd grown so close to. He knew how close she'd been with Donna, and her breaking down and running was all his fault. And he couldn't even confide in her for what he had done.

"Aye, brotha. Tha' won't be an easy task. Hap's likely to castrate us all for this," said Chibs with wide eyes. "We'll deal with that when he gets here," says Clay calmly. Even though he was very worried on the inside. He was concerned for the young woman he'd thought of as a daughter, and prayed she'd be okay. His wife was already pissed enough that he'd let Honey slip away, but now he had to face the wrath of Happy Lowman too.

Clay leaned forward onto the table with a look of great sorrow, searching for the right words to say. "I got to take responsibility for this." Immediately everyone knew the topic was back to Donna and Jax shot Clay a sad and confused look. "I was the one who pushed for that deal with the Mayans," he continued, "I knew there was going to be some kind of Niner blowback, but I never thought it would reach this far, go this way." "We all voted yes on that Mayan deal," Chibs cut in, pun intended again. "Nobody seen this comin'." "That's right," Tig agreed. "Yeah, but it happened, so how do we handle it?" Piney angrily interrupted. "The Niners are gonna be dealt with," Clay assured him, "But right now let's just walk through this be there for Ope." "We help Ope by settling the score," Piney countered, not giving up. "We track down Laroy and a bullet in his head." Clay's gaze moves from Piney to Jax, and Jax returns the look. But Piney notices, and it pisses him off even more. "Now what are you looking at him for?" he demands, "I'm the one talkin' to you." Clay sighs, "I know, brother. I know you're hurting. Think you're trying to help..." he trails off. "Don't you tell me what I'm thinkin'," Piney's shouting now, "you know, if this happened to your family, to Honey, there'd be six charters halfway to Oakland." "This did happen to my family." "No it didn't!" Piney yelled, but then spoke calmly, "The Niners came gunnin' for my son. They killed my daughter in law. You got that, huh? You got that kinda hole in your family?"

Honey's POV- the next day

I woke at about noon the next day. I woke up crying and cried for probably four hours. Creature tried her best to comfort me with snuggles, but I could see how confused she was with my pain. Her wide, kind eyes seemed to ask "why's my mama sad? How can I fix it?" and it was clear my pain hurt her too.

Finally I got out of bed and put on my rugrats hoodie and some leggings. "Wanna go for a ride, baby?" I asked Creature while jaggling my keys. She jumped wagging her tail and panting. "Come on," I told her. We drove around our new "home" aimlessly until I stopped at a drug store and picked up some hair dye, a nice burgundy red. I made sure to pay in cash so Juice couldn't track me. At least until I managed to get a new card. I also stopped at a tattoo parlor adding to the many I already had, as well as getting a tongue piercing and a belly button piercing. Before heading back to the motel and dyeing my hair. "New place, new me," I whispered to myself in the mirror.

3rd person POV back to the day before

After scaring the witness to Hefner's death, Tig sat down and told Happy what he couldn't before. They were at the bar in the clubhouse, both exhausted having a drink and a smoke. "Man, there's something I gotta tell ya," Tig finally comes out with. "What is it brotha?" Hap asks. Tig hesitates, not sure how he can say this. Happy was the type of man who never loved any woman that wasn't his mother or Gemma, now he finally found a woman he could love and now she's gone. "Honey bailed last night, " Tig finally said, quietly though. Slightly hoping the other man maybe didn't hear him. Happy stopped dead, anger flared on his face. "What the fuck do you mean she bailed?" he growled lowly. It scared the shit out of Tig, he knew this man well, he would've much rather he yelled at his. Happy downed the rest of his drink before walking of angrily. He wanted so badly to go look for Honey, but with Donna's funeral tomorrow he knew he had to be patient.

(A/N: I hope no ond read that or stsrted reading it before I deleted the chapter and fixed it. But if you did, please read the new stuff that was written. Now onward to season 2, I promise. Also woah two chapters in one night, killin' it even though they probably both sucked.)


	17. 15

It's been 3 week since I skipped town. I managed to find an apartment walking distance from a waitressing a job at a run down truck stop. The place was kinda gross and definitely gave everyone who ate there food-poisoning. But it paid $8 an hour and the rest of the staff wasn't bitchy. After the 17 hour road trip, my truck's new engine was done for, but I couldn't get it fixed because Juice would be able to track the insurance, and I didn't have anywhere near enough to pay in cash.

I guess you could say I was in a good spot. I had a place to live, a good paying job. From a technical stand point I was doing good. Only I wasn't doing good, my sanity was in tatters, nightmares all night every night. The only reason I slept was the exhaustion after 8 hour shifts. And, as if the universe thought I liked icing on my cake, my period was late. Of course at the height of my life falling apart, I was likely about to be a mother. Although of course it could be because of the stress, but I hadn't missed a period since I was 12, no matter how stressed.

3rd person POV

At Bobby's coming home party, Happy didn't dare touch another girl. And any crow eater or sweetbutt that dared come his way got the Killer's warning glare. And the next day, he was out. He drove back to SAMTAC after getting ahold of one of one the best trackers he knew. Happy wasn't half bad at tracking people down, hell it was part of his job. And Juice was even better at it than he was with all his knowledge on the newest technology and shit. But Happy and Juice already tried, Honey was good at covering tracks. She smashed her phone so they couldn't track it, switched out her lisence plate, paid cash for everything, refused to use any form of insurance and even used a fake name at her job and on her paperwork for her apartment. She really didn't want to be found, and she wasn't planning on it either.

Happy's guy searched everything he could think of, he was a an ex bounty hunter, but they had almost nothing to go off of, it was like he had just disappeared off the face of the earth. Until... "Hey uh, Hap?" the man asked, leaning over his computer. Hap took a quick swig of his beer, "what?" "You said a red, 68 Chevy pickup truck?" Happy quickly stood up and walked over, "ya I did." "Ya got a plate-" but Happy cut him off, "no point looking for a plate, she probably changed it." Happy was getting anxious, his nerves on edge. His girl had been gone for a whole 6 weeks, he was done messing around, it was time she was found.

"Well this one has a New Mexico plate, which," he paused tapping on his key board a bit, "does not belong to the truck it's on." "Of course she stole a plate," Hap mumbled. "Where's it at?" Hap asked. "Well this image was taken from a traffic cam from Las Cruces, New Mexico. And there haven't been anymore in the area since, which means she hasn't been driving the truck. It also means that where ever she's staying is close to this very traffic light." Hap leaned down the man's ear, "then get me the location of that God damn traffic light," he growled impatiently. The man quickly scribbled down some numbers and handed the paper to the scary man. Then Hap set off on a mission to find his girl.

Honey's POV

A month, a whole fucking month and still no period. I was freaking out, now was not the fucking time. But apparently the universe really just hated me. At the very least I knew it was Happy's and not Jax's, if it was Teller's there'd be no question that yes I'm knocked up because I'd be showing. Not exactly sure why I'd rather have a kid with the Tacoma Killer than Prince Charming, but hey, my brain just works that way. I hopped in my truck for the first time in a few weeks and headed over to the same place I got my hair dye. I picked up a test and went to check out, the same lady from before rung me up, "I guess redheads really do have more fun,"she joked. I managed a small laugh at her before heading back to my apartment.

I waited anxiously for test to give me the result. I felt like I was going to vomit, 'wait, that's definitely not a good sign.' I closed my eyes and picked the test up off the bathroom counter. I slowly opened my eyes and two blue lines seemed to stare back at me. "I'm pregnant," I whispered.

Then, the sound of a motorcycle filled my ears. And it was definitely a Harley.

(A/N: LeeMit531- I'm so glad you enjoy the story.

MademoiselleRiddle- I was honestly so scared you'd just stop reading right there, and I'm so glad you're still here. The point was for no one to see it coming, I want to keep things interesting with as many plot twists as I can while still keeping everything together. I want things not to be very predictable so this doesn't get boring but I also don't want it to make no sense at all.

This chapter covered the time between seasons 1 and 2 as well as the first 2 episodes of s2, just in case anyone wants to keep track for some reason.)


	18. 16

(A/N: NSFW warning~)

There was a few minutes between hearing the engine cut on the Dyna and then the knock on my door. I stared at it blankly, it had to be Happy or Tig. I'd be excited to see either man, but after the initial shock of seeing them again, the different men would have different things to say. I wasn't sure which one I was more afraid of seeing. The knocking sounded again, this time more rapidly and annoyed. I got off the bed and slowly reached for the nob. I began opening it slowly, but the man on the other side forced it open.

"Hey Happy," I squeaked. "Don't 'Hey Happy' me," he said, walking into the doorway forcing me back. "I'm sorry," I whispered. He closed the door behind him and we stood looking at each other for a good long minute. "You wanna explain to me what the hell drove your ass all the way to New Mexico," he finally asked angrily. I sighed and sat down on the uncomfortable bed the apartment came with. "I just needed to go, after what happened with Donna..." "didn't you stop to think that everyone else might have needed you?" he was raising his voice now. "No, I didn't think anyone would really care," I whispered. His eyes widened, "everyone would have been there for you, you all could've helped eachother." He sat down in the bed next to me, it seemed his anger had died down. "What else drove you away?" he asked, I looked at him wide eyed but didn't ask how we knew there was more.

I sighed, "it's a whole story." He shrugged and sat down next to me, "I got all the time it'll take." I rubbed my sweaty palms against my jeans and prepared myself for what needed to be said. "I had a girlfriend back in Colorado, but we broke up like a month before I left," I stopped. "Okay..." he urged me to continue. "Do you remember when Stahl had me in a holding cell for 3 days?" "I knew she had you arrested but I didn't know she had you in that long." "Do you know why I was arrested?"I asked looking him in the eyes. "Gem said it was for possession charges from Colorado, but they couldn't get them to stick for some reason. Or, at least, that's all Juice could find." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "the day I left Colorado, my ex girlfriend was found dead in the dorm we shared." "Ah shit." "And Stahl was trying to find a way to charge me as her murderer, even though her death was accidental and happened after I left." "How'd she die?" I was dreading that question, "overdose," I whispered before bursting into tears. "Shit, baby. You're okay, Honey," he rasped quietly, pulling me into his lap. He ran his fingers through my hair, until the sobs stopped shuddering through me. "Man red is gonna take some getting used to," he rasped. I laughed softly at him, "just needed a change," I whispered into the crook of his neck. "I like it," was all he said

Finally he calmed me down completely and pressed his lips into mine. When he pulled away he set his forehead against mine. "Man I don't understand what hell you're doing to my head, little girl." I leaned back and looked up at him with genuine confusion. "What do you mean?" He sighed, "when Tig told me you left, I was just about ready to kill the whole clubhouse. I care about you more than I thought possible." I scoffed, "really? I just figured you thought of me as a sweetbutt." Anger crossed his, but he took a deep breath and calmed himself. "Honey, if I thought of you as a sweetbutt I wouldn't have driven 17 hours just because you might have been here, I care about you." I sighed, "I've been with 2 club members, Hap. That's like croweater territory." That set him off, "will you fucking stop it, you talk about yourself like you're some kind of a whore. You ain't a fuckin' whore Honey, you're my girl." My breathe hitched. "Your girl?" I asked unsure. "Yeah, my girl," he said confidently, pulling me closer, "mine."

~

He pressed his lips to mine, harshly. There was no soft and sweet with Happy. One hand wrapped around my neck, not loosely but not harming my breathing. The other hand moved my body so I was straddling him. I used the new position to grind my hips down into his. "You're playing with fire there, little girl," he growled. "Good thing I don't mind the heat, Daddy," I laughed. He shoved me back onto the bed, his hand still at my throat applying more pressure now. "Do you trust me?" he whispered. I whimpered and nodded, "good girl," he said. His words sent a shiver down my spine an set my core ablaze. He released my throat, and began undressing me almost viciously. When my clothes were gone, he pinned my arms above my head and took a nipple in his mouth. He flicked his tongue back and forth across it before he bit down hard. I squealed and squirmed beneath him. He looked at me with feigned sympathy while forcing his denim clad knee between my legs. "Aw, did that hurt?" he asked, before taking the other in his mouth and biting down even harder. I squeaked and squirmed once more but he only chuckled at me. He let go of my arms and began unclothing himself. When his shirt came off I bit my lip and looked appreciatively at the sight in front of me. "Still that impressed, baby?" he asked with a chuckle. "Of course, Daddy. The only thing more impressive than your chest is your dick, " I said. "You got quite the mouth on you, girl. Maybe show Daddy what else it can do," he smirked. He sat down on the bed and I slid down to my knees on the floor. "Good girl," he rasped. I licked the palm of my hand thoroughly before pumping him a few times. "I said mouth, not hands Honey." I smirked at him, before licking his dick base to tip and swirling my tongue around the head making him groan. His taste was sweet on my tongue and I loved it. I took every inch into my mouth and throat and bobbed my head for him. His hand fisted into my hair encouraging me to go lower, he started thrusting throat fucking me. His groans were quiet but they set me on fire, he pushed me all the down and tears filled my eyes but I loved it. "Fuck, baby girl," growled before cumming in the back of my throat. I moaned and he let me go, I sat back and swallowed with a smirk.

I climbed up into his lap, kissing him feverishly grinding down into him. He slipped two fingers inside me and I whimpered. "So wet for Daddy," he rasped. I bucked my hips into his hand and he smacked my ass. "Look and that, already got me hard for you," he chuckled. "Oops, "I giggled, "sorry Daddy." He guided my hips closer to his and lowered me down onto his cock. I moaned as he filled me and rolled my hips. "So tight," he groaned. He fucked me at a bruising pace, until all I could do was beg. "Such a good girl for me," he praised. Finally, I cried out feeling myself tighten around him as I came. He finished soon after and pulled me down next to him.

~

He wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled into his chest. There was something I still needed to tell him, but i just didn't know how. I bit my lip and looked up at him with worry, but his eyes were closed. "I'm pregnant," I whispered not sure if he heard or not.

(A/N: crazypo- I guess we'll see.

UnderElectricCandlelight- I'm glad you liked it, I'm really trying to push across the idea that Happy is, at least starting to be, very protective of her. Hap never falls in love in cannon for us to see but I can imagine he'd be a very protective and loyal lover.)


	19. 17

The next morning, I dressed in a Nirvana t-shirt and leggings. Happy obviously didn't hear what I said last night. He didn't shoot out of bed asking me what the hell I was talking about, or wake up in the morning asking me what I'd said. I don't know why, but I was glad he didn't hear me. Because I was scared what his reaction would be. I was scared he'd leave.

Happy'd gotten me to agree to go back to Charming, he didn't want me driving back alone so he put his bike in the bed of the truck and agreed to ride back with me. But when we got in, him in the passenger seat, Creature got in his lap. "Can't she sit somewhere else instead of on me the whole time?" he asked. I laughed at him, "well I don't have a back seat and she can't sit on me if I'm driving." Happy huffed and sat looking out the front window. Then finally, "get out, we're switching." He pushed my dog off of his lap and opened his door. I sighed and got out of the truck, handing him the key as he passed. "You're so dramatic," I said kissing his cheek. He just huffed and smacked my ass as I walked away.

Finally, with Happy driving and Creature and I in the passenger seat, we were on our way back to Charming. My head was running a mile a minute. What if he had heard me but didn't make it known? What if he was going to leave me? I even worried about things not related to Happy. Would Gemma and Clay welcome me back with open arms or were they maybe finally done with my bullshit? I'd now ran away twice in my adult life, and then, of course, several other times as a teenager for various reasons. I remember once, when I was only 14, I got so pissed at my Dad and drove his car all the way to San Jose, and I didn't even have a permit. Tig had to come find me and drag me home, and Gemma was the one who calmed me down before my Dad and Karen came to get me. What if everyone finally gave up on the girl who always ran away? Especially Tig, he was always the one dragging my ass home, whether the road trip had been 2 hours, like when I ran to San Jose, or 14 hours, like when I was 16 and ran to Seattle.

Eventually, through all the worrying, I passed out holding Creature who I'm sure also passed out. 2 hours later, I woke to a very familiar song playing on the radio. I smiled and looked at Happy who was mouthing the lyrics, obviously assuming I was still asleep.

_I got a crush on a pretty pistol_

_Should I tell her that I feel this way?_

_I've got love songs in my head_

_That are killing us away_

_Do you love your guns? Yeah_

_god? Yeah_

_The government?_

_Do you love your guns? Yeah_

_god? Yeah_

_The government?_

_Fuck yeah_

It was a song I knew well, it made me think of the scary man sitting next. I loved it. "Glad to see you like this song too," I said. He looked at me, not much emotions readable on his face. Which is pretty standard for the Killer. He turned it down, but drove silently, staring intently at the road ahead of him. "I know how I feel about you, little girl," he spoke finally. "If I'm gonna do this... lovey dovey bullshit... and claim you as my old lady... I gotta know you ain't gonna run at the drop of a hat anymore." Tears filled my eyes. He was right, how could be his old lady if I ran away at the slightest inconvenience? Happy is not the kind of man that does relationships, I can't just throw this all away. Especially with a baby, I don't want to do this alone. I can't throw this away, and I won't. "I'm not throwing this shot away, I want to be with you Hap. Even if relationships aren't your thing, this could be so good, Happy." I watched his face process my words, or, at least, I think I did. He nodded and grabbed my hand, "this could be good," he agreed, squeezing my hand.

We arrived at Teller-Morrow 15 hours later, it was around midnight and nobody in the clubhouse was awake. Happy and I snuck in quietly, which was almost impossible with Creature, and fell asleep in his dorm together, exhausted.

(A/N: sorry I haven't been updating, with school starting and matching band I've been so crazy stressed. This year's show is the hardest we've ever done, and junior year is so much more stressful then I thought it would be. I'm just so sorry, I feel like I'm failing as an author. Sorry this chapter was so short, but Yay she's home!!

crazypo- and even better he didn't hear it haha, I just honestly have no clue how you're supposed to tell someone about that kind of thing.

MademoiselleRiddle- thank you for the comment!!

tammifolk- I'm so glad you love it!! I hope they will end up a pretty good match.

LeeMit531- and it turns out he didn't even hear it! I don't really know yet how the truth will come out but I'm thinking he won't have such a great reaction to it. I definitely also love the idea of Happy being protective. We see him always being so loyal and protective of his brothers on the show, as well as his mom and aunt so I just couldn't help but write him that way.

If anyone thinks I'm doing a really bad job at writing Happy's character, please let me know! And I'll try to find a way to fix it. And if anyone has any ideas of what needs to happen next, tell me that too! Because I need all the help I can get. Thank you guys so much for reading I hope you're enjoying this story!!)


	20. 18

The next morning we woke up to Tig bursting into the room. Creature immediately recognized the blue eyed perv and jumped up to greet her crazy Uncle Tig with a wagging tail and slobbery kisses. I sat up slowly, annoyed, and stared up at him groggily, my hair a rat's nest, while Happy groaned, "jesus Christ, man," and rolled over covering his head with the pillow. Tig stared at me in awe, before walking over quickly, almost trampling the dog as he did, and pulled me into his arms tightly. "Where the hell have you been, Hon?" Tig asked. "New Mexico," I replied, my voice still half asleep. He pulled back and brushed my hair out of my face, "what the hell were you doing in New Mexico?" he asked. I smirked, "waitressing." He huffed and pulled me in again.

Apparently Tig and Jax had seen my Chevy parked in the lot with Happy's Dyna in the back. That's what lead Tig to bursting into Hap's room, he was excited to see me home. The thought eased my electric charged nerves, but only slightly. Later, Happy and I both got out of bed both of us still dressed in yesterday's clothes, I changed into a pair of ripped jeans and a Rugrats hoodie. I gazed down at my flat belly. Knowing soon it wouldn't look like this. Another month or two and I'd be showing, soon after there'd be no hiding it from Happy or anybody.

Most of the guys welcomed me back happily that morning. Chibs, Juice, Jax, Bobby and Clay were all happy to see me home. Opie and Piney kept their distance, just giving me sad looks and polite nods. But I couldn't blame them for whatever they held against me. I claimed to be one of Donna's best friends, yet I skipped out right before her funeral. They had every right to be mad at me, I deserved it.

Perhaps by some coincidence, or thoughtful planning on Happy's part, Hap and I had made it back just in time for Happy to go along with the guys to Eureka for a blood drive. I'm not stupid, I know what they're doing isn't a blood drive, but good Old Ladies don't ask questions. Happy kissed me goodbye before heading out with the guys, 2 gunshots rang out from the lot and I knew they'd left. I headed into the kitchen to make myself some coffee. While pouring myself a much needed cup, I heard Gemma's heels click their way into the kitchen. "Jesup Christ," I heard from behind me. I turned around mid-sip to see Gemma behind me with her hand on her chest clearly looking startled. She regained her composure and rushed towards me. I set down my mug to avoid us both wearing coffee and she pulled me into her arms. "God I missed you baby," she sighed into my hair, relieved. "Hey Mama," I laughed, nervously. Sure she's happy to see me now, but in two seconds I'm definitely in for it. She released me, and leaned back, hands on her hips. Definitely a pissed off mama pose. "Oh don't you 'Hey mama' me. Do you have any idea how worried I was about you, baby?" she said. Told you I was in for it. I sighed, "I'm sorry, ma. Really I am, just with everything that happened I had to go." She stared at me long and hard, thinking. "I'm sorry about your girl," she said, "and Donna." I just shrugged, but my face clearly displayed my pain, "me too," was all I said. She nodded slowly and began to walk off, but stopped, "you still have a job here, baby. And we're swamped in paperwork so you better get out hurry up," and left. I sighed and sipped my bitter elixir of life. My hand went to my still flat belly once more, "at least I know we'll have Grandma and Uncle Tiggy," I whispered.

I walked into the TM office, just as Piney was walking out with an older blonde lady. I picked up a stack of papers off of the filing cabinet and started shuffling through the stack. I watched Gem stare at a package on the desk, her bottom lip trembled as she shakily opened it. She took out a bag from a place called Sherman's with a rubber mask inside. I set down my stack of insurance papers and walked over to her carefully. "The heck is that, Mama," I asked her. She looked up at me, visibly shaken and shook her head at me her lip still trembling. "N-nothin' baby, don't worry bout it," she then got up still holding the bag and the mask, grabbed her keys and walked out. About an hour later Piney came in and told me the guys had two bikes down and needed a flat bed, so he was heading out. He had two mechanics close down the shop and I went and laid down in Happy's dorm.

The next morning I woke up to Happy kissing my neck, his arms wrapped around me. I turned over and smiled up at him, "I missed you," he rasped, "not gonna lie, there were tons of sweetbutts there last night, but the only girl on my mind was you." I laughed, "oh how sweet," I said sarcastically. "Romance is my specialty," he joked.

Not long later, Happy had to head out. Business in another charter. I walked out into the clubhouse and sat down with Gemma, she passed me a mug of coffee and a pack of cigarettes. I took the coffee happily, but the pack of cigarettes remained on the table. She glanced at the pack and then back to me, "no smokes today, baby?" she asked. "Nah, tryna quit." She looked at me suspiciously, a small smirk on her lips. 'Shit.' "Any reason why?" "Nope, just don't wanna be a smoker for the rest of my life." I knew she didn't buy it, but she accepted the answer nonetheless.

My day at the clubhouse was uneventful, cleaning here and there with the croweaters, doing paperwork in the TM office. Nothing happened until that night after the guys had church. I walked out onto the lot with some water since I knew I wouldn't be drinking with anyone else for a while. Tara, Jax and I were chatting aimlessly, Tig occasionally putting in his two cents. Suddenly there was a loud explosion, Chibs was on the ground, everyone ran over. I stared fearfully at the kind Scottsman who's blood now pooled around his own head like a cruel halo. Chibs was taken to the hospital, and there was nothing any of us could do was wait.

That night, when Happy came back to the dorm after church, my nerves were on fire. 'I'm ready to tell him, he needs to know,' I kept thinking. He walked into the dorm and set his gun and knife on the dresser, he also took off his kutte and his shirt, belt and shoes too. He sat down next to me with a sigh, clearly exhausted. My eyes met his and he straightened up, concerned. "What's wrong, little girl?" he asked me. I took a deep breath and looked at him. "There's something I need to tell you, ya won't like it though," I whispered. He put his hand on my thigh to try to comfort me, "what it is, baby?" he asked me. "I'm... I," I stuttered as tears threatened to overflow. "I- "You're pregnant," he rasped. My eyes shot up to meet his, "how-" "The other night, I heard you just fine. I know you thought I didn't, but I did. I had 17 hours to think about what I wanted to do, I decided I was going to wait till you were ready to tell me and we'd figure this out," he held my hands in his, "together."


	21. 19

~All 3rd person POV~

Letizia Medina was 16 years old when she moved to America. She got settled in Anaheim and immediately picked up a job as a waitress hoping to one day live the American dream. It wasn't long after that when Letizia met Charles Lowman, a 24 year old air force pilot. Soon they were married, much to the dismay of Charles' family. Everything was going great between them, nice house, happy marriage, a child on the way. They were only missing the white picket fence. They were a happy little family, and named their bouncing baby boy just that, Happy Lowman.

But sadly, after years went by, Charles grew to resent his wife and son. He changed from the charming young man Letizia had married to a hateful and evil drunk. He could never seem to hold down a job anymore, and he drank or gambled away the money Letizia pulled together. Letizia finally had enough when her once loving husband turned abusive.

She could handle the screaming and yelling or him throwing things in a drunken rage. She could still stand by his side through that. Although she'd never admit it out loud, leaving him hadn't even crossed her mind the first time he had hit her. But what finally crossed the line was when Charles lashed out on little Happy.

That night, when her husband was out on a binge, she packed up what she could and left. She took her son to Bakersfield, where they slept in their car for some time. But it wasn't long before Letizia got herself up on two feet, working three jobs: she managed to get a small apartment and enroll her son in kindergarten. She'd heard nothing from or even regarding Charles until three years later, when news that her estranged husband had been found dead in a ditch due to an overdose.

Flash forward a decade, Happy was 16 and started selling pills on the street. His mother had been working 3 jobs almost all his life to make ends meet, but as the years went by she found herself unable to physically do so. So Happy decided it was his job to pick up the slack. At 17 Happy was arrested on drug charges, and, being old enough to be tried as an adult, served his sentence in Stockton Stateprison. It was there that he met Alexander Trager, an interesting, to say the least, individual who went by Tig and made endless disgusting jokes. Happy was released less than a year later, and found himself very intrigued by The Sons of Anarchy, whom Tig had spoken so fondly of. It was then Happy started putting money aside to by himself a motorcycle. When he was 20 years old he'd finally saved up enough and purchased himself an older Harley. He spent all the time that he wasn't working to teach himself how to ride it. And when he was 22, he kissed his mother goodbye, promised to write, and rode up to Tacoma Washington where Tig was patched. Happy began prospecting there soon after and was patched in at 24.

Then, just before Happy met Honey, his ma was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It wrecked Happy's world but it wouldn't take him off the road. But every chance he could he'd ride up to Bakersfield to visit his mom. And that's where he was that fateful night.

* * *

It seemed Zobelle and Weston had underestimated Gemma, they'd expected her to tell her husband and son, the SOA president and vp, about what had happened to her so they could use it against the club. But it seemed their plan had failed. They were desperate to hurt the Sons. And it just so happened that what they needed the most had just popped back into town. A specific red head, who had grown up practically the princess of SAMCRO.

It angered Ethan Zobelle greatly that this beautiful, naturally blond haired and blue eyed young girl would dare romance and play house with not only a dirty old biker but specifically a Hispanic one. It angered him even more to learn she was carrying his half breed of a child. It was the perfect blow for him, when you couldn't take down the queen, the princess was the best shot. And he greatly doubted that Miss Oswald would be anywhere near as strong willed as Mrs. Teller-Morrow.

* * *

Honey had left her doctor's appointment very excited. It had been confirmed that yes she was indeed pregnant, yet she truthfully hadn't had a doubt. All her worries were gone, she was mentally prepared to take this on with the man she loved. She began walking to her truck, shivering and pulling her coat closed as the cold air of the night swept through. She had only just reached her truck when a hand roughly grabbed her shoulder, a hand clamped over her mouth before she could scream, then... she was out cold. She woke up not long later chained in a bed in a musky motel room, her clothing had been removed and around her stood 3 men in white masks... like the one that was sent to Gemma in the mail.

**(A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated in like a century, I hope this chapter was good enough for the readers I still have. And I promise there will be more very soon)**


	22. 20

~3rd person

Honey woke in a daze the next morning. She was surrounded by blinding white light, her nose was bombarded by the harsh smell of isopropyl alcohol and her ears rang with memories of the night before. Flashes came back to her here and there and she jumped when a hand wrapped around hers. As her vision cleared, she saw Gemma. "Mama?" she asked, her voice hoarse. "Hey baby, what do you remember?" Of course Gem was already interrogating her. "Where's Happy?" Honey squeaked, ignoring Gem's question. Gemma pursed her lips, she knew Honey needed Happy here, the father of her child, but the situation was delicate. Unser had called her after finding Honey chained and tattered the same place he'd found her. This was now the second SAMCRO woman Zobelle had had beaten and raped but Gemma couldn't have the guys finding out and she certainly didn't want Honey to be the one to tell them. She told herself it was for the best... but was it really?

"I-I haven't called him yet," Gemma told her, softly. "Honey, I need you to tell me what happened." Tears filled her eyes, threatening to spill, "I-I was...r-raped..." her eyes widened and her wire covered hand moved to her baby bump, "oh my god, my baby," she cried. Gemma shushed her softly attempting to sooth the young woman. "Your baby is just fine, Tara already checked you over, you're both just fine." "Where's Happy, Gemma? Get him here, please," she sobbed. Gemma shushed her again, much harsher than the last time, the girl bit her lip and stifled her sobs to let the Queen speak. "Look, I know you're scared, and I know exactly what happened to you because they did it to me too. But the guys... Clay, Jax, Happy, they can't find out about this." Honey nodded her head, she hated it but she understood and knew it wouldn't be wise to question Gemma. "Now, I'm gonna call Hap... and we're going to tell him you fell down the stairs going up to your apartment, okay?" Honey only sniffled and nodded as Gemma left the room. She didn't know if she'd be able to keep this secret, she wasn't strong like Gemma but she knew she'd have to try.

Happy was with the rest of the guys waiting to get into Weston's house. Finally when Ope got there, they were ready to go. "I followed Jax to Darby's, it was a dead end. He lost me at the Corcoran Pass," Opie told Clay. "Shit," " There's no one at Zobelle's house." Clay stood up off his bike, "Phones off, lose the kutte." Happy stood up and went to turn off his phone but realized he had 3 missed calls from Gemma and a text that read 'Get to St. Thomas asap. Its Honey.' Happy nearly lost his shit, 'what if it's the baby,' he thought. He quickly decided the guys would be good without him, his old lady and his kid had to come first sometimes. "Brotha, I gotta go. My Old Lady's at St. Thomas, Gemma says it's an emergency," he quickly told Clay. "Ah shit, you go on Hap, make sure my grand kid's okay," Clay patted him on the shoulder before they went their separate ways.

Happy met Gemma in the waiting room at St. Thomas who led him back to Honey. He ran to her wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead. "Holy shit, what happened baby?" Happy asked her. She looked back at Gemma behind him, torn between telling him the story or the truth. Before Honey could even gasp in enough air to tell him anything, Gemma spoke for her, "She took a tumble down the stairs in her building. Baby's fine but Mama got herself a concussion." Happy nodded but never took his eyes off of Honey. "You okay baby girl," he whispered, his forehead against hers. She cleared her throat so she didn't sound like she'd only just been sobbing, "I'm good, Daddy." Good he said before pecking her on the lips. "Oh, and while I'm here," Gemma said, "Chibs is stable now too," and with that she left the lovers be.


End file.
